Why relationships are so challenging?

Having a quality sexual relationship today is like fishing without the proper gear. The likelihood of getting a good catch is actually no likelihood at all. For many, finding a good catch is based consciously or unconsciously on the cultural narrative they have been sold. Rarely do we consider if that cultural narrative suits the person we have become. Unconsciously, we go after a man who is the breadwinner without contemplating if that is what we really need. Unconsciously, we go after a woman who has an ass the size of Texas without contemplating if that is what we really need. We behave not even like primates in our decisions. We let attraction guide our choices which is controlled by the cultural narrative of the day. We must be so much more sophisticated in how we chose a partner because the reason behind our decisions is creating undo conflict and frustration in our lives and relationships.

In a nutshell, many men today want a woman to be feminine but is still looking for her to financially bring something to the table. However, what he is not unable to contend with is how her capacity to bring something to the table can affect the dynamics in their relationship. If she is sharing the financial responsibilities with him, she also anticipates that she will also be a part of the decision-making process. If she is going to be a major contributing financial partner, she may not have the capacity to run the home as efficiently as he may need her to.As a consequence of being a financial contributing partner, the man may be called upon to play a more major role in the home.Picking the kids up from school, cooking, washing the dishes, folding the clothes, helping the kids with homework are just some of the ways he way need to assist. While a man who is competent in the domestic arena goes contrary to the cultural narrative, the times demand that he helps in the home if she is doing her part financially.

These are real changes that have affected and are affecting the quality of our sexual relationships. Because of gender role reversals, it is not surprising to find that relationships today are more or less business transactions or secret affairs. Essentially though, the secret affair is a man and woman’s way of filling the void that exist in their current relationship. For example, the woman maybe with a man who provides the financial security, however he lacks the sensitivity, mystery, sexual prowess, romance and adventure the woman may need to fuel her desire for him. Or a man maybe with a woman who is beautiful but she is unable to provide the financial strength and emotional support he needs.

The key point here is men and women have to become more conscious in their relationships. How do we become more conscious when none of us have been given a script or a manual to guide us? For many of us, the day to day of relationships are so so taxing. However, I am certain that the macho attitude will certainly not help and neither will the narcissistic view that there is nothing wrong with how I operate in my relationships.

All in All, the times demand that men and women have a balance of feminine and masculine energy. And failure to poses this balance means men and women today are now operating from polar opposites. Because such polar opposites pervades the society, relationships today have a very short shelf life. And even if couples chose to stay married there is little fulfillment in them.